he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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