so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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