look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
