East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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