she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
