i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Define "chronic" masturbator.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
