I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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