U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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