I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
