I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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