I'm lost and stupid without you.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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