well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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