You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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