I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
