You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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