Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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