Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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