Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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