In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
