He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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