I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
