I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
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He called his prostate his "boner button".
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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