The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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