Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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