Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
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Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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