Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
i think my cat just said my name.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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