Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
