Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize