Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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