Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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