there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
