Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
