I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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