she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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