Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
