made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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