I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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