Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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