Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
