Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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