I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just had sex on a roof
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
