She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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