So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize
