I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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