with your own penis?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
