I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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