this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
