just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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