Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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