I don't usually arrange sex via text message
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
