he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
