Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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