i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
