My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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