You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize