I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
