Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
