Screwed.edu
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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