Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
