i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
