Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
