it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
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Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
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I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Enjoy the penises
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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