It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
