I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
