wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
