No awkward lesbian experiences without me
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize