I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
