Screwed.edu
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
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