A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
