and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
