do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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