I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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