i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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