just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
