Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I smell like Dick and happiness
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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