I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize